I’ve had brushes with social media virality before. My most popular Instagram post is a comparison between some miniatures I painted decades apart. It has 141 likes. I’ve shared art and book recommendations there for years. I even ran a joke Twitter account that never really took off.

So I was surprised when my recent LinkedIn post about being laid off became the most engaging thing I’ve ever written with 756 reactions, dozens of comments, and over 100,000 impressions. This shows how social media distorts what we value. I’d rather be known for the miniatures I’ve painted, the stories I’ve written, or the videos I’ve made. Instead, my biggest audience came when I by a big tech layoff turned me into roadkill.

Maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised. Even on a professional site like LinkedIn, the algorithm rewards emotions like outrage, fear, amusement, inspiration, and of course, distress. People can’t help but slow down for a car crash. Losing your job, especially as part of 14,000 Amazon layoffs, is the professional equivalent of a highway catastrophe. Viewers recognize themselves in the scene and think, “There but for the grace of God go I.”

All the comments were kind and supportive. Still, scrolling through LinkedIn over the next few days was strange. There were lots of post from people who weren’t laid off:

I believe those feelings are real, but the performance of empathy on social media feels... off. We’re rewarded for posting anything that earns likes, shares, and attention. It’s emotional fast food: a quick dopamine hit with no real nourishment.

In the military, there’s a term for keeping communication channels clear so the important messages can get through: radio discipline. Noise makes it harder to hear the real signals. In this case the people who need help, job leads, or advice.

When emotion is how we get our rewards, bigger emotions become the point. We end up not needing to do the actual work of helping people to gain social capital. One way to combat this, and to help ourselves focus on real action, is to measure how much we’re performing versus how much we’re helping.

If you spend more time talking on social media about your emotions than you do sharing the things you’ve created, it might be time to switch priorities. That’s one of the reasons for this newsletter. It’s my way of choosing action over emotion.

That said, many people have reached out directly to offer help by pointing me toward job posts, checking in, and making me feel valued for the work I’ve done. I’m grateful. Emotions and mental health are important to pay attention to, even in the best of times.

If you still have your job and really want to help someone who’s been laid off, don’t just post sympathy or talk about how it affects you. Ask if they’re looking. Share open roles. Clear the comms so the signals that matter can get through.

Because there’s a difference between doing the work and just watching others sweat. And social media rarely knows which is which.

This is the next in a series of monster for Dungeons and Dragons that I’m putting together, and is probably why you signed up for this newsletter in the first place. All the monsters also get posted over on my Patreon for free, should you ever need to find them again.

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